Something's changing, a storm is brewing. My Love is growing.

It's a new day....a wonderful day. I told Dennnis (my partner) this morning that it feels like a sense of freedom to not have to log onto facebook and check out what's going on. I am enough for myself. I don't have any real plans for today aside from a shower, a shave and some breakfast. Life is beautiful, Love is plentiful. God is good.

An epiphany today.....RELEASE.....

I need to release all of it. I hold on to every waking memory, every moment that brings me back to any happiness of my youth that is in any way connected to the Jesus People. My inability to let go is causing me to run in place, hoping that through my writing [on facebook] I will be finally understood. It's not gonna happen, and I need to find peace with it before I dig a hole with my legs.

Release.

Im back...I've been away from this blog for far too long as I have been swept up in all things facebook. Facebook is useful, but as I continue an indeterminate hiatus, I realize that I can better describe where I am in my life here, as opposed to a familiar audience. I don't even know if anyone reads this page, and maybe I don't care, I just need a place for me right now.

Give me breathless nights on your wings, my room of ten thousand things, my myriad of delusions of dreams. I would not falter. Give me my caves of water, my toppling boats, my Kathy and Miss Margaret afloat, I would not falter. Give me my sleepless dreaming, songs only my fingers are singing, I would not falter. Give me my unending thoughts, my Love in knots, I would not falter.

I'm a fire, a comet, a birth of all the stars, a light of the known and the unknown. I've come to unearth the lies of men, to set them a part from the hypocrisies that consume them. I'm a fire, a comet, a howling gale, shattering your comfort zones, your lack of compassion, and your populist truths.

I'm a fire, a comet, a burning sphere. I've come to envelope you in the light of my love, in the dreams of your past, and the hope of your future. I'm a fire, a comet, a burning sphere, here to withstand the weight of your hatred, the chaos of your lives that's buried the innocent and murdered the pure. I'm a fire, a comet, a consuming love, a bed of down feathers riddled with knives should you be anything other then truthful.

I'm a fire, a comet, a searing pain, trapped beneath the epidermis of your lips, and the lies of your tongue. I'm a fire, a comet, a joyful noise loving you awake, singing you asleep, caressing the sweat from your brow. I'm a fire, a comet, purity among all things, may you enter the kingdom of my love, may you let go of that which pulls you downward.

I’m a fire, a comet, the hand of god.

J.M. Prater

This is my goodbye to you, this is how I fly from you. May these last days be my love to you, our last moments a flood to you. This is my kiss back to the past for you. I sit here thinking of that street and in my mind I come to you. My church, I quietly walk away from you, my brothers and sisters I detach from you. This great tree I leave to you, it’s roots watered by tears I cry for you. May my footsteps be a path for you, I hope my life had meaning for you.

J M Prater

Thou art a quiet storm on her gorgeous sea,
silently moving between the earth and her core,
between understanding everything and nothing.

I fell into thy arms and discovered that which made no sense,
that which I could not see.
Thy lulled me back aground from my lofty assumptions.

I wrestled night and day in fear of day and night.
I fought a gale, I cut it's strings and she moved across the water.
She set adrift and returned a quiet peace, a calm forgiveness.

Thou art of fury and female, of shards and knives, arsenic and apples.
I am taken through morning and then back to night.
But all of this, all of this...my love for thee.

This is my prayer to thee, my loyalty to thee.
Stay that I could drink from thy well until I mourn my thirst
Be still that I might count the strands of thy fabric.

Speak that I might ascribe the tones of thy voice
Sing that I might dissolve into the love of thy preciousness.
Give me life that every moment may be a record of thy goodness.

And with this I end in a garden of death and awe
in this time of pain and peace.
I love thee, I've always loved thee.

Give to the earth my body that she might light up the stars with the root my love.
I am but myself. I am a host of angels, a watcher of earth. I am but myself.

J M Prater